


Split

by quiet__tiger



Category: Batman - All Media Types, Smallville
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Crossover, Gen, Heavy Angst, Suicide Attempt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-16
Updated: 2017-04-16
Packaged: 2018-10-19 16:34:05
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,842
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10643787
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/quiet__tiger/pseuds/quiet__tiger
Summary: Bruce and Lex meet in a mental institution as kids.





	

**Author's Note:**

> This is triggery. And dark and angsty.
> 
> Originally posted to Livejournal 1-15-06.

Bruce was scared, so he cried. The shapes weren’t pronounced, but there were colors. Black, mother of pearl, steel.

And red. Lots and lots of red.

And then, as usual, when Bruce was so afraid that he thought he might actually die, when the tears couldn’t run and he couldn’t breathe, darkness came, calming him, allowing him to rest. To be calm.

*~*

Lex watched, fascinated, as his roommate slept. A minute ago, he was crying and whining, and now he was as serene as if he didn’t know what had just happened.

Every now and then, Bruce got like that when he was awake. He’d cry and fuss, and then he’d still for a few moments, and he’d be fine. It barely even seemed like he remembered his prior behavior.

Sometimes Lex was glad that his only issue was that he wanted to die.

*~*

Alarms. Breakfast. Group therapy. Exercise. Lunch. Private therapy. Snack time. Tests. Dinner. TV time. Lights out.

Every day, the same thing. To provide necessary stability.

Lex didn’t need stability. And he didn’t want it. What he wanted was to not feel like he wanted to die. But only death would relieve that.

He was thirteen, and prone to angst anyway because of that. But his mother had died three weeks ago, and his brother months before that, and his father was a cruel, cold man… His father had grown unable to handle his outbursts, and had completely lost control when Lex had slit his wrists for the eighth time in a week.

So he was here. Under constant care, and not allowed anything sharp. And no medication of any sort unless it was prescribed and someone watched to make sure he took it.

Just some tranquilizers. And some sort of heavy-duty anti-depressant. It made him lethargic. Maybe that was the tranqs. He didn’t care. The blades had always felt nice. He had liked their feel long before his mother died. But since her death he liked to cut deep.

That nice, calm feeling as he slipped into sleep… but always to awake with someone watching over him. It pissed him off. And it made him want to succeed even more.

The alcohol mixed with his mom’s pain stuff just made him puke everywhere. The maid caught him with the glass cleaner before he was able to swallow too much of it. And his dad occasionally actually followed guidelines, so the firearms were locked away separately from the ammunition.

He supposed he could always just throw himself off the roof, but he was afraid of heights. He didn’t want to die afraid.

He scratched at his waist, the institution’s mandatory clothing making him itch. It would be time for breakfast soon, but the somewhat-healthy balanced meals provided by the institution weren’t really appetizing enough to get out of bed for.

But he was so cloudy-headed that it didn’t really seem to matter.

Nothing did.

So he watched Bruce sleep.

Try to, anyway.

*~*

Bruce sat in the cafeteria across from his roommate, Lex. The older boy was so pale. So fragile-looking. At least, that was the way he appeared now. When he first got here he screamed a lot, and fought, and generally made everyone miserable.

It had been enough to reopen the wounds on his wrists, the thick bandages getting pinker as he struggled harder.

At first Bruce wasn’t thrilled to have the bald, older boy room with him, but he had grown used to Lex. As he got more doped up he was much easier to deal with.

They were even sort of friends.

Lex taught him a new war game, and Bruce taught Lex the ins and outs of the asylum. He knew that everyone called it an institution, but that’s what it really was. 

An asylum. A place to keep the patients inside safe from others. Keep others safe from them. Keep them safe from themselves.

But Bruce wasn’t a danger to himself. At least, not directly. He just had… trouble dealing with certain things.

So far nothing had been able make him forget the night his life was shattered in a hail of pearls and a splattering of blood. The memory was barely even dampened it was etched into his mind so deep. The drugs, the therapy… nothing helped.

Except the black force. That helped. It would creep over the brightness of the memories, and Bruce was able to cope. For a while.

*~*

Bruce never fell asleep before Lex did. Maybe his body found a way to fight the administered sedatives, or maybe he was just more high-strung. Whatever it was, Lex had almost grown used to the watery blue eyes watching him as he settled down to sleep, and tonight was no exception.

Quite some time later, Lex heard the mewls that indicated his roommate was starting to dream. He carefully reached under his pillows for the bottle of medication the orderly was able to give him before he quit. The orderly was easy to buy off.

Lex swallowed the pills dry, and waited to fall asleep for the last time.

*~*

Bruce had woken up twice, and the second time he didn’t hear Lex breathing. He always fell asleep to the sound of Lex breathing now. It was calming. The guy he’d had to share with before wheezed.

But Lex wasn’t breathing.

Bruce crawled out of bed and tip-toed over to his bunkmate. Who…

Oh God.

“HELP!! Please, help!!”

*~*

Lex awoke.

His second thought, after thinking that he felt like shit, was that he was awake.

Fuck.

He opened his eyes to find himself in the stark infirmary at the institution. IV lines in his hands, a tube down his throat, and a nurse taking his vitals.

She turned to him. “Mr. Luthor. You were almost successful this time. If Bruce hadn't've woken up, we wouldn’t have been able to get to you in time. Don’t worry, we’re going to monitor you much more closely from now on.”

Fuck.

*~*

Blackness. Cool. Calm. Keeping the fear away. Muting the anguish.

Blackness.

*~*

When Lex was finally able to return to his room, he found Bruce curled up on his own bed. “Hey, Bruce.”

After not getting an answer the next few times, Lex went to the bed. Bruce was awake. But not there.

Lex grabbed the chart from the door, and flipped to the end. Catatonic state. Since… damn. The night he found Lex choking on his own vomit, not breathing and without a heartbeat. Lex had heard all about it.

“Bruce?” Lex shook the smaller boy’s shoulder. No reaction. He’d just have to wait it out.

He hoped Bruce pulled himself out of this. Lex skimmed his chart, and figured that if not schizophrenia, Bruce was a good candidate to develop multiple personality disorder. The way he seemed to just freeze during his bouts of tears and screams, and then be fine.

Fuck.

*~*

The blackness started to fade. Bruce gradually came back to himself, laying on his bed and staring at the wall. He heard the pages of a book turn.

Rolling over, he saw Lex propped and reading a book. As overjoyed as he could be considering the drugs they gave him, Bruce got up, ignoring muscle cramps, to climb into Lex’s bed.

Lex pushed him away and snarled. “Get away from me.”

“Why? I saved your life.”

“Do I *look* like I wanted my life saved?” Lex bared both wrists, the scars from previous suicide attempts still visible.

“Well, no.”

“Then next time I try, leave me alone!”

“NO!” And Bruce was so angry at Lex! How could he want to die? Bruce had seen death, it had mocked him, and Lex was just playing into its hand? Bruce expressed his confusion by punching Lex in the face.

Lex just stared at him. “Keep doing it. Maybe they’ll put me in with a kid who will just let me die.”

“No.” Bruce climbed onto Lex’s bed again, sat next to him, and punched an area of Lex’s leg that he knew would give Lex a charleyhorse. His dad had taught him that trick. “Don’t do that. Please. You. I can’t lose someone else.”

“What are you talking about?” At least if Lex was cross with him, he wouldn’t harm himself.

“I lost my parents right in front of me, and Alfred couldn’t handle me so they took me away from him, and my roommates keep on getting better, and leaving, at least, they leave and I never see them again…” Bruce started to cry. “But if you die then I know I’ll never see you again and I can’t lose someone else!” He felt the darkness try to take him over again, but he wanted to be in control. At least a little while longer.

“Hey.” Lex, not angry anymore, shook his shoulder. “Hey. Okay. I won’t. At least, not right now. Not while we room together.”

“How can I trust you?”

“You can’t.”

“Then this is stupid.”

“How about I make you a deal?”

Bruce sniffled. “Like what?”

“I won’t try to take my own life for a while if you stop retreating to wherever you go when you suddenly stop crying.”

“I don’t go anywhere.”

“Not physically, no, but you’re not all here, either. You get real calm, almost focused, until you return to yourself. It’s kinda frightening.”

“Yeah?”

“Really.”

“Okay.”

“So we have a deal? I’ll lay off myself if you try to be strong, okay?” Serious blue eyes looked into his, and Bruce was able to detect more there than he thought Lex wanted him to.

“Okay. Deal.”

*~*

Dick Grayson peeled off his mask and tugged his boots off by their ridiculously pointy and showy heels. He tugged off the tunic and was about to undo his leotard when Batman spoke to him.

“Nice job tonight, Robin.” Dick smiled up into the grim face of his mentor.

“Thanks!” 

The grim look didn’t change. “Tomorrow we’ll work more on your form. It could be better. And I want you to learn another feature of the batarangs.” Batman went about the process of disrobing himself, and Dick was glad. Batman was kind of scary.

By the time Alfred joined them in the Cave with cocoa for Dick and tea for Bruce, Batman had become Bruce again. Smiling, he asked Dick, “You finished all your homework, right?” Dick nodded. “Great. I’ll be down here for a while longer, but I’ll be up to tuck you in in a bit, chum.”

“Okay, Bruce.”

Alfred deposited Bruce’s tea on the console, and followed Dick up the stairs to his room. As Dick climbed into bed, he asked Alfred, “Bruce sure is different when he’s Batman, isn’t he? Like a whole new person.”

Alfred stood in the doorway, and hesitated as he reached for the overhead light switch. “Yes, Master Dick. That’s exactly what it is.”

“What does he do in the Cave, after I go to bed?”

Alfred hesitated again. “He always calls his friend Lex.”

“Why?”

“It helps him.”

“With what?”

“Being him.”


End file.
